‘Duck Dynasty’ recap: Jase faces his nemesis while cleaning the duck blinds

The Robertson family dressed in their duck-huntin' best.

(A&E)

When it comes to hunting, the Robertsons are the first to volunteer. However, when it comes to their favorite pastime, the Louisiana natives dread one aspect of duck hunting: the annual cleaning of the duck blinds.

“Being a hunter isn't just about whacking ducks,” said Jase. “There are truly someone mundane and tedious tasks involved. The annual debugging of the blinds is one of those tasks.”

Tedious, but dangerous. Duck Commander employee Godwin was the first to stick his head in a blind and he quickly ran away crying alligator.

“He’s Godzilla big!” whined a scared Godwin after Jase pulled out a baby alligator from the blind.

“One of the positives of debugging the blinds is you never know what you're going to find,” said Jase. “The water rises and leaves behind all of these surprises when it [falls] back down. Over the years we've come across things you can't even imagine.”

But it wasn’t long before Jase and the rest of the blind-cleaning crew were distracted from their duties.

“All outdoorsmen have their nemesis,” explained Jase. “With Phil, it's the beaver, with Si it's the mystical blank panther [and] with me, it is the dreaded fire ant.”

All hope of cleaning out the blinds were abandoned and Jase quickly turned their attention to killing as many fire ants as possible.

“When I was about 12, I was swimming in the river,” he recalled. “I just barely brushed up against an ant pile and they immediately just engulfed me. I went to stripping clothes. I [ran] back to the house and I open the door [and] I was unaware that my mom was having a muffin group brunch and there I am in my birthday suit covered in ant bites. I’ve never forgiven the ants.”

But even he knew that if they ignored the blinds, Phil would be upset. “There’s a pretty good chance that my dad isn't going to be happy about that but if there's a choice between pleasing Phil and killing fire ants, I’m going to kill me some fire ants.”

One Robertson who accomplished what he set out to do was Uncle Si whose marketing plan to help attract people to the charity car wash the rest of the Robertson clan were hosting to raise money for their church was starting to work. While Si brought in customers easily with a big yellow arrow to draw them in, his nephew Jase still needed some convincing.

“Car washes, they're not for me,” said Jase. “If you wash your vehicle, it just gets dirty again.”

“Just like you wash your body when it gets, dirty,” explained his wife Missy.

“That’s optional,” said Jase who ended up giving in. “Well, I'll support my family.”

“In business, hiring the right person for the job is crucial because the people you hire represent you, but family though, you don’t get to pick and choose,” Willie said over the family’s dinner. “Sometimes you get lucky, like Si's crazy marketing plan actually working, other times the guy you asked to help on a cleaning job ends up cutting down half the forest in a fit of blind rage.

“In the end, you have to take the good and the bad because you can't fire family even if there's times when you really might want to.”

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'Duck Dynasty' recap: Robertsons shop for a hot tub, Phil spends time with the grandchildren

One good deed deserves another–at least that’s the philosophy in West Monroe, Louisana, where the stars of A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” make their home. This week's episode of the series was all about helping each other out. 

“One of the many perks of being in the Robertson clan is that if you need help–all you gotta do is ask for it,” Jase explained of his brothers, Uncle Si and coworker Godwin pitching in to assist in building a new fishing dock. “It’s a great system, but like any other system–there can be people who will abuse it.”

Jase was not-so-subtly referring to Uncle Si, who preferred to “supervise” the boys from dry land during the dock installation–all while sipping on his ever-present sweet tea.

“What’s the point of having family and friends if you can’t ask them for help every once in a while?” asked Si, somewhat rhetorically.

“You’re always asking for favors, but you never help out with any favors,” groused Willie.

“I never ask for no favors,” declared Godwin.

“Yes, you have,” protested Willie.

“I absolutely never ask for a favor,” returned Godwin.

That, as the Robertsons would learn, would soon change. Back at Duck Commander Headquarters, Godwin made a random announcement, “I’m gonna get me a hot tub.”

The boys were stunned. “A hot tub,” Jase said, with obvious disgust. “No self-respecting man would have a hot tub.”

“I would,” said Willie with a slight smile.

“That’s my point,” returned Jase.

“The man wants a hot tub, he should get a hot tub,” reasoned Willie.

Since it was clear that Godwin had his heart set on a hot tub, Willie fired up his laptop and started to search for one online.

“There’s some cool ones–about six grand,” Willie tells Godwin. “What’s your budget?”

“All’s I can spend is two hundred bucks,” said Godwin, flatly.

With such a limited budget, Willie suggested that Godwin purchase a used hot tub. Godwin was fine with that, as long as it had speakers.

One of the Robertson brothers did not approve of Godwin getting any kind of hot tub–with or without speakers.

“I just want to say something on the record,” said Jase. “I am in protest of this. This whole thing is a bad idea. You’re going to get the measles from it. Blisters, skin rashes or hepatitis.”

Willie just shook his head. “When it comes to germs, Jase is a walking contradiction,” noted Willie. “He has no problem crawling through swamps and other disgusting, stagnant bodies of water. But just the mention of a manmade place with clean, animal-free water is enough to send him on a rant for a week.”

After much discussion, Si suggested that only place that might have a hot tub within Godwin’s budget would be a place called Squirrel’s–yes, Squirrel’s–Junkyard.

“That’s actually not a bad idea, because all he has is crap,” laughed Willie.

Meanwhile, Phil and Miss Kay have a few of the grandkids over for the afternoon, who arrive to the Robertson property “fresh from the subdivision.”

Phil is determined to teach his grandchildren “patience and resourcefulness” by gathering mayhaw berries and turning them into jelly.

“Food,” lectured Phil. “What if everything goes south, there are no chicken nuggets, there’s no big, tall Coca-Colas and fries–what then?”

“We would survive like the walking dead,” answered Willie’s grandson, John Luke.

That did not satisfy Phil, and he set out to teach the kids the finer points of mayhaw harvesting.

Back at Squirrel’s Junkyard, the boys have found a budget-appropriate–if disgusting–hot tub for Godwin. They tow it back to Godwin’s house, where he insisted that it be installed in the front yard so that he can “watch the cars go by.”

“What are you, a dog?” asked Willie.

Godwin stands firm, determined that they install the hot tub in the front yard. The boys struggle to unload the hot tub off the truck, and it crashes to the ground with a thud.

“This board broke,” said Godwin.

“That’s just cosmetic,” reassured Willie.

“That’s right,” conceded Godwin. “I’ll get the wood glue.”

After the “cosmetic” damage is fixed, Godwin climbs into the hot tub–(almost) naked and alone.

“Awww, yeah!” hoots Godwin as the bubbles frothed around him.

“In all the years I’ve known Godwin, I’ve never seen him this happy,” observed Willie. “He’s happier than a pig in mud–which is actually a fitting comparison when you consider how disgusting that water probably is.”

At the family dinner, the Robertsons gave thanks, and Willie noted, “Sometimes doing a favor a friend can be quick and easy, other times it means you’ll be spending all day at a stinkin’ junkyard. The point is, you can’t pick and choose how you help somebody. You just help them because they’ve been there to help you.”

Amen.

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